There is SO MUCH to tell you, so lets talk!!!

Friday, March 30, 2007

The Pipettes!

Blogger buddy G usually makes appearances at the Snark where she shares with us some music group/person and I've picked up some cd based on some of her great choices, (like this or this) but here's one I just heard about that I wanted to share with you.

Have any of you heard of the Pipettes? I just did and I love their music!

Here is their video of their very catchy tune, Pull Shapes:

And here they are in cartoon form for their song, ABC.

They're so happy and energy that you want to get up and dance. Personally, I like their 60's style clothes.

If you want to see more videos or just learn more about then, (they have a pretty interesting history) go visit their official web site.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

How to properly place new employees

1. Put 400 bricks in a closed room.
2. Put your new hires in the room and close the door.
3. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours.
4. Then analyze the situation:

* A. If they are counting the bricks, put them in the Accounting Department.
* B. If they are recounting them, put them in Auditing.
* C. If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in Engineering.
* D. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them In Planning.
* E. If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations.
* F. If they are sleeping, put them in Security.
* G. If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in Information Technology.
* H. If they are sitting idle, put them in Human Resources.
* I. If they say they have tried different combinations, they are looking for more, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in Sales.
* J. If they have already left for the day, put them in Management.
* K. If they are staring out of the window, put them in Strategic Planning.
* L. If they are talking to each other, and not a single brick has been moved, congratulate them and put them in Top Management.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Where are my keys?!

or "Google in 20 years"

Don't you hate it when you misplace your keys? It happened to me yesterday when I was running late to get the kids from dance school. Turns out they were in my back pocket. sheesh...

You know how good Google is at finding stuff on the internet. Wouldn't it be nice?

Monday, March 26, 2007

The most wonderful thing happened to me...

As some of you know, I'm going through a divorce and so things are very different for me now. I no longer spend as much time with my kids as I used to, and it hasn't been easy, but it has really been a learning experience. I wouldn't say I used to take my children for granted because that wasn't the case, but as trite as it sounds, absence does make the heart grow fonder, and I make the most of the time I spend with them.

Because of the divorce, money has been tight. I'm hoping things will be a bit better when things are finally through, but there was something that I really wanted to do for the kids, and that's buy them some bikes! All three of them!

Spring is here and they like the outdoors. I was hoping things would be settled by now, considering they started in September, but they're still dragging on. Here's the thing; I've been saving up a few dollars every opportunity I got and I finally saved enough to get them the bikes, so today I did it. I only had my littlest buddy today, the six year old, and we went and picked one out. He even picked up the requisite helmet, knee and elbow pads, "Cars" theme, to go along with his bike. When we left the store and he finally sat on his bike and peddled away, you should have seen the look on his face! He looked like he was on top of the world, paddling as fast as his little legs could manage, with a grin from ear to ear and he kept thanking me for this! My heart melted.

I felt like saying, "Buddy, you deserve so much more! You deserve the world and I want to give it to you!" Instead, I said, "I'm so glad you like it and I can't wait for you to come back." I smiled and thought the moment was a gift from the Lord. This isn't his first bike, mind you. but the original bike was a toddler bike and he hasn't been on it since last summer. This bike is the "real thing" and he knew it.

Finally, when I was to drop him off, back to his mom, he said, "you rock, dad!"

I know these moments won't last forever; you know what I mean, when your kids think you could heal their boo boos, find the things they lost, tackle closet monsters single handedly, etc... Eventually, they figure out that us dads have limitations, but I do want to freeze these moments, stretch them as long as I can.

I'll fight the monsters as long as I can...

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Did you know...

...A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a tree stump shoved up his backside.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Incredible Polymer Clay Babies...

I know that a lot of the folks who visit my blog are great artists who work with different things.
Click on the above picture and check out this artist's website where she makes these incredible miniature babies.
I first saw these on a Yahoo video where they mistakenly thought the babies were made of marzipan.
They're not; they're just amazing sculptures...
I imagine they must be incredibly difficult to make and if price is indication, they must be. They run from $99 to close to $1000.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Everyone's Hero

And Why Kids are awesome...

I'm usually fairly careful about what my kids see (or not see) when watching a movie. Generally, the highest ever rating is PG, though I usually watch PG rated movies first before deciding if it's okay.

I'm usually pretty surprised at the amount of "kids" movies, namely animated or cartoon, that are PG and I wonder, is it really not possible, are people not creative enough to write a movie for kids that can be rated G and still be a good story? From the looks of it, it must be difficult, at least.

Last night I rented Everyone's Hero and I enthusiastically gave it two thumbs up!

The movie is rated G, yet it had action, adventure, and captured my children's attention and they loved it! I loved the movie myself; the main character's dad, who is a janitor for the Babe's home stadium, is fired because Babe Ruth's precious bat is stolen on his shift, but the little boy goes on a mission to find the stolen bat and return it to Babe Ruth and hopefully get his dad his job back. It's a wonderful movie about doing the right thing for the right reason. The movie, though, is for little kids, not for teenagers. It's a movie about simpler times and different morals and for those used to watching "Lord of the Rings" type movies, they may be bored.

Christopher Reeve, the best Superman ever, was the first director, but he passed away before it was completed so two other guys finished directing it.

So why are kids awesome? Read over this collection of Goodies:

1) NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"

2) OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents"

3) KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

4) MORE NUDITY A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

5) POLICE # 1 While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"

6) POLICE # 2 It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"

7) ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

8) DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.

9) DEATH While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always sang: "Glory be to the Faaather, and to the Sonnn, and into the hole he goes."

10) SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"

11) BIBLE A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered , "I think it's Adam's underwear."

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!

An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.
A cop pulls him over. " So," says the cop to the driver, where have ya been?"
"Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.
"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening."
"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. " For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Did you know?

Sometimes size DOES matter.

Shift happens... Click on the picture and watch this amazing clip on the importance of education, computers, and change... Simply amazing!

Give it a few seconds to load...

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Of Daughters and Starbucks...

One Thursday a month I get four hours of "Daddy and Girlie" time; that is, I get to spend four hours with just my girl as I take her to Knoxville for her Suzuki Group piano lessons. We live about an hour from Knoxville so we spend an hour each way talking and listening to music together, singing tunes. Last Thursday, after her class was over, she said, "Dad, let's go to Starbucks! They sell the best toffee bars there." Obviously, she has been to Starbucks before with friends.
I've been a dad for 10 years now and it's moments like these that I enjoy, but they also make me a little sad. She's growing up, experiencing events and wanting to share them with me and that's okay, but the sad part is that she has experienced these things "before" and I wasn't there the first time so she's sharing it with me AFTER the fact. Knowing that she wants to share something that she like makes it sweet, but darn it, she's growing up too soon!
The funny thing is, I've never been to Starbucks before so she's showing ME around. I'm a big coffee drinker, mind you, but I've never seen so many way of making coffee! The menu totally confused me and I kept thinking, "how long does it take the employees to learn how to make all those things?" After a while I just asked the cashier, "can I just have a cup of coffee? The cashier just took my money but the other employee who was to make my order was listening and looked visibly relieved. He even told the cashier, "my work is done. You can make a coffee."

Friday, March 9, 2007

Buzzing undies make shopper faint

Only in America...

Is this really the case that some women are walking around in vibrating underwear? Could I have been talking to one of my coworkers while she was having an orgasm? Anybody out there done this kind of thing???

Okay, now that we're on this topic, here's a joke for you:

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"No one answered until little Mary stood up, angry, and said, "You should not be asking 6th graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!"

With a sneer on her face, she then sat back down.Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, "Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?" Little Mary's mouth fell open; then she said to those around her, "Boy, is she gonna get in big trouble!"The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, "Anybody?" Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, "The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye."

Mrs. Parks said, "Very good, Billy," then turned to Mary and continued, "As for you, young lady, I have three things to say:One, you have a dirty mind, two, you didn't read your homework assignment, and three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed."

Thursday, March 8, 2007

Levi's ...

I WOULD make a comment about this Levi's commercial, but instead I'll just take a cold shower...

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Blame it on the Bossa Nova...

Okay, this post is about two things:

1. This very silly song that, unless you are just too serious a person, will make you laugh or even get up and dance.

2. To share with you this very cool service that allows you to easily embed songs to your blog. It's completely free and have just about any song I looked for so enjoy. This will enable you to set the mood to a post.

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

A Blonde at Starbucks

Blonde in Starbucks A blonde goes into a coffee shop and notices there's a "peel and win" sticker on her coffee cup. So she peels it off and starts screaming, "I've won a motorhome! I've won a motorhome!"
The waitress says, "That's impossible. The biggest prize is a free lunch."
But the blonde keeps on screaming, "I've won a motorhome! I've won a motorhome!"
Finally, the manager comes over and says, "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you're mistaken.
You couldn't have possibly won a motorhome because we didn't have that as a prize.
The blonde says, "No, it's not a mistake. I've won a motorhome!"
And she hands the ticket to the manager and HE reads...


"W I N A B A G E L"

(Sorry, couldn't help it.)

Monday, March 5, 2007

If you're going to play Ravel's Bolero...

... you may as well have fun while doing it!

I'm not sure how many other classical pieces would lend themselves to this sort of thing, but it is kind of amazing to watch them do that!

I know this is a silly post, but I just LOVE Ravel's Bolero. Every time I hear it, I just want to get up and march to the speed of the music.

Friday, March 2, 2007

The Next Survivor Series...

or "A Tribute to Moms"

I've been a dad for 10 years now and I love my job as a dad. I take my responsibilities seriously but also love playing with my children and while there are moments when I'd rather have time for myself, those moments are rare and I usually like being with them.

It "seems" to me that in the past, the responsiblities for raising children fell primarily on the mom. I don't think the role of the traditional father was any less important; men had primary responsibility for the finances and that placed a heavy burden on them. Nowadays the roles seem more balanced and parents share responsibilities.

While I am NOT lessening or belittling the important role of fathers, (I believe a guy can/should be able to take up the role of a mom if that was what was expected of him,) every guy should acknowledge that a mom has a difficult job!

So, in that spirit, here is.... the Next Survivor Series!


Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 4 kids
each for six weeks.

Each kid will play at least two sports and either take music or dance

There is no fast food. Each man must take care of his 4 kids; keep his
assigned house clean, correct all homework, help complete science
projects, re-teach this weeks math lesson, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of
"pretend" bills with not enough money.

In addition...each man will have to prepare a grocery list, clip coupons
and shop for groceries each week.

Each man must also take each child to either a doctor's appointment, a
dentist appointment, or an appointment for a haircut. He must also be
able to make cookies or cupcakes for a social function on demand.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house,
planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and
all chores are done.

There is only one TV between them.

Each father will be required to know all of the words to every stupid
song that comes on TV and the name of each and every repulsive character on

The men must shave their legs; wear makeup daily, which they will apply
themselves either while driving or making four lunches.

They must adorn themselves with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish
shoes, and keep their nails polished and eyebrows groomed.

During one of the six weeks, they will have to endure stomach cramps,
back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never complain or
slow down from other duties.

They must attend PTA meetings, church, and find time at least once to
spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

He will need to pray and read with the children each night, bathe them,
dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair each morning by 8:00.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will
be required to know all of the following information: each child's
birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. They must
also know each child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of
labor. In addition to each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite
snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and
what they want to be when they grow up.

They must clean up after their sick children at 3:00 a.m. and then spend
the remainder of the day tending to that child and waiting on them hand
and foot until they are better.
Each man will have to make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a
tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate
with his spouse at a moments notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over
again for the next 18-25 years...eventually earning the right to be called