It's Memorial Day Weekend and I even get Monday off of work and that's cool. Unfortunately, I won't have my kids with me at all during all three days. It's their mom's weekend and Monday is their mom's birthday which means I won't get them half day, which is the norm for a holiday.
So it's Saturday and at first I thought, great - I'll be without my little people, which means I'm going solo, and it was a bit upsetting, and a bit lonely. Sure, I can call some friends and visit hang out, but it's kind of weird. When you're in your mid thirties, most of your friends are married and have kids and it's awkward to visit with them by yourself. I kind of feel out of place since my kids aren't with me and their kids are asking, "where are your kids?"
So here I am in my home alone. First I was a bit lonely, but then I thought about
God. He's with me. No really. He is, and he knows how I feel and I felt better about being alone. After all, when God's with you, you can't possibly have better company, can you?
I often think about God and just how wonderful he is, and why on Earth he'd want to hang with me at all. I mean, God's has EVERYTHING at his disposal, he made it all. Why would he be with me? Why would he love me at all, much less want to be near me?
You ever sit and think, holy cow, God knows about what I did, or he saw me doing that or acting that way? I'm ashamed of myself! He knows what I thought in that situation and it wasn't a good thing. But he still loves me?! How?! Sometimes, knowing this, it makes me want to run away from him, knowing I don't deserve to be anywhere near him. I mean, God is perfect and kind, loving and just... He created EVERYTHING including me, and he actually expects that I behave myself and love others like he loves us. Man, I'm so not close to that. But HE still loves me!
No way! There's just no way... I don't deserve him at all.
And yet, he still loves me.
Thank you, Lord...