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Thursday, June 7, 2007

Putting my ducks in a row...


Well, after nine months of STUFF, I finally have a date set for divorce mediation. I'm not sure if it's the same everywhere, but here in Tennessee, you HAVE to go to mediation and work out a parental plan and the finance stuff. If we don't agree, then we go to divorce court and have the judge agree for us. I've been busy trying to work things out on paper, making sure that the children's situation is the best that it can be, but I find it ironic that two people who had a hard time agreeing on much (which is the reason for the divorce) are now mandated to sit and discuss things in order to agree on how assets and time with the kids are to be divided.

Anybody have any advice about this? Perhaps if you've been through this before and want to share the experience, I'd be greatful.

I spent four hours with the kids yesterday and we had a pretty good time; we went to church and then went back to my house and ate, had pillow fights, played outside, etc... Still, I had this uneasy feeling that the divorce was weighing heavily on their minds. The deadline is always looming, "how much more time do we have?", and when it's almost time, they makes comments or their attitudes change and their spirits aren't as high as it was. I'll hear them saying, "maybe mom will be late and we can stay longer."

I didn't see my father until I was 11. We left Cuba when I was less than a year old, but he didn't come with us because he was in the armed forces and couln't leave at the time. He served his country for several years but then it took several more years for him to apply and be allowed to come to the US. I didn't really miss him at the time because he wasn't in my life, but looking back and having kids of my own, I wish I could have had him in my life growing up.

I have always been a part of my children's lives and I want them to know that their dad is always there for them. Maybe that is what makes things more difficult; having to divide my time with them. I would like to ask for your prayers and/or good wishes and thoughts so that good decisions are made next week in mediation, that the children benefit the most from the decisions that are made.

4 comments:

susan said...

Oh my goodness, your kids are adorable!

Sorry, I haven't any advise on your situation. It seems as though most dads around here get the kids every Wednesday and every other weekend...it doesn't seem like enough Daddy Time to me. Good luck, I hope it all works out well in this hard time for you.

Oh, I would advise talking about what's happening as much as the kids want to, just letting them know that they will always be loved. (one of my girlfriends had a year of therapy during her divorce to get to that point, but I get the feeling you already knew that)

Pavel said...

Susan: Thanks! You should see how they practice being adorable, especially when they want something! (smile)

I appreciate your advice, let me tell you. It seems like a good idea to talk to them when THEY want to talk about it, and not every time I'm thinking about it.

Hope your baby is feeling better!

Chrissy121875 said...

What a cute pic! Your children are sooooooooooo cute!!!

Hoping all goes well on your end. Your kids are lucky to have a wonderful Dad like you. I'm sure they know how much they are loved.

My thoughts are with you, Pavel! :)

Pavel said...

Chrissy: Things went very well, thanks! I will never be away from my kids more than two day, and I couldn't ask for more than that!